Seventy (one) thing's u'll never hear them say!
by Tincerbel
Summary: Corected! U know the sort, been done all over the place, but these r all originals!!! Warning: contains well... gooy parts. Please R/R!!!


1 Seventy (one) Things You'll never hear em say!  
  
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Disclaimer: all hp characters, as you know belong to the great jenious of our time, the wonderwoman, the one and only J.K. Rowling! Parts from songs are mentioned by the line and the rest is all mine! Enjoy!  
  
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4 A.N: I know, very unoriginal of me, I know that thousands of people already wrote this but since I noticed that there are less and less of these lately and because the ones here are all originals I am writing things hp characters would never say! And if I put something you saw somewhere else I am very sorry! It was totally unintentional, Please read!  
  
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Oh, and please, please PLEASE review! Or e-mail me at adimishanyot@hotmail.com thanks,  
  
Tincerbel  
  
  
  
1. Prof. McGonagall: Listen up students: You might have heard many rumors lately so I just decided it is time to put an end to it! I admit: Albus and me are soon going to Vegas to be wed!  
  
2. Parvati: (in response) Oh I'll be your Bride's Mate Professor!  
  
  
  
3. Hermione: It's just a stupid rule!  
  
  
  
4. Harry: Here Draco, wonna share compartments?  
  
  
  
5. Ron: Oh look! It's ::He runs to hug him with joy:: Vicky!  
  
  
  
6. Draco: Don't worry Harry, I won't tell you were sneaking out at night. You can count on me!  
  
  
  
7. Hermione: Hogwarts a what?  
  
8. Lupin: (takes off pants revealing a wolf's butt) "Blue Moon! AWOOO!" (it's a famous song but I forgot who it bellonged to, not me anyway)  
  
  
  
9. Fred & George: You bought Dungbombs?! That stuff is dangerous!  
  
  
  
10. Dudley: No thanks, I'm not hungry  
  
  
  
11. McGonagall: This one time, at band camp. (american pie)  
  
  
  
12. Snape: Excellent Potter!  
  
  
  
13. Harry: I love you Myrtle.  
  
  
  
14. Dumbledore: Stop this nosense! Oh will you act your own age already?!  
  
  
  
15. Hermione: OH NO! Our O.W.Ls! I completely forgot!  
  
  
  
16. Draco: I'm sorry.  
  
  
  
17. McGonagall: P-A-R-T-Y!  
  
  
  
18. Mrs. Weasley: (talking to Fred)  
  
Fred: "So mom, what do you want for your Birthday?"  
  
"Hmm. How about a Hogwarts toilet seat?"  
  
  
  
19. Harry: I'm signing pictures everyone!  
  
20. Ron: (in response to Harry) Wow! Can I have one?  
  
21. McGonagall: ::riding a broom high by the moon at midnight:: "Heehehehehe"  
  
22. Hagrid (in response to the last one): Looks like Minerva's been drinking again.  
  
  
  
23. Hermione: Look at Draco, he looks so yummy today! (Sorry all you D/Hr fans, it ain't gonna happen)  
  
  
  
24. Fred & George: We'll help you Professor!  
  
  
  
25. Draco: (to Ron Harry and Hermione) Care to join us for some Butterbear?  
  
  
  
26. Snape: Let's put our differences aside!  
  
  
  
27. Rita Skeeter: Where are your manners?! They're trying to have a private conversation! Can't you see it's none of you business?!  
  
  
  
28. Ron: (at potion class) Over here Goyle! I saved you a seat!  
  
  
  
29. Fred: I wish I could be Head Boy just like Percy!  
  
30. Percy: (to Fred) Oh don't be sad Fred, being Head Boy isn't everything in life.  
  
  
  
31. Draco: I feel so happy! I could just bounce like a ferret!  
  
  
  
32. Fred & George: Don't do that! It's wrong!  
  
  
  
33. Ron: I love you Myrtle.  
  
  
  
34. Hermione: Really Harry? That's bad! She said she was sure she saw a Grim in your teacup?  
  
  
  
35. Mad-Eye Moody: ".You need to be prepared. You need to be alert and watchful, you need to put that away, Miss Brown when I'm talking." Lavender jumped and blushed. "Oh, and, nice underwear, by the way." (Imagine what color her face would be if he actually said that.) Disclaimer-This sentence belongs to my friend "MarryWeather" (screen name of course).  
  
  
  
36. Harry: Look at Draco, he looks so yummy today! (stop it with all the D/Hp slash lately, it's driving me mad!)  
  
  
  
37. Lavender Brown: I'm a slaaaaaave for you! (Britny of course, seeing her do it is almost as funny as seeing a character like Lavender does this)  
  
  
  
38. Harry: Don't worry! Professor Snape will save us!  
  
  
  
39. Ron: What? No homework?  
  
  
  
40. George: Look at all these great grades I got in my O.W.Ls!  
  
  
  
41. Harry: (w/ tears in his eyes) "I'm sorry. It's just that. MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!  
  
  
  
42. Wood: It's only Quidditch!  
  
  
  
43. Snape: Sirius you dogg!  
  
  
  
44. Crabe: Well, the indication of this thought is challenging yet I don't truely suppose it would be all that successful considering the consequences it might lead to. However in my opinion.  
  
  
  
45. Fred & George: But that's against the rules!  
  
  
  
46. Seamus: Kiss me I'm Irish!  
  
47. Dean (in response): Okay. ::they start smooching::  
  
  
  
48. Trelawny: Oh Harry dear, it's written all over this teacup! What a wonderful long life you will have!  
  
  
  
49. Draco: I love you Ginny!  
  
  
  
50. Harry (when he sees Credric etc. coming out of his wand): I see dead people! Wow, this stuff is some good sh**, WUZ UPPPP??? (The 6th sense or/and Scary Movie)  
  
  
  
51. Dumbledore: (To Harry) fhhfhf, I am your father.  
  
52. Voldemort: (To Harry) fhhfhf, I am your father. (The 2 above u will only understand if u read JKR's interview in which she was asked if Voldemort could be Harry's father and she said: "Don't u think it'll be a little too star wars?)  
  
  
  
53. Dudley: Does this make me look fat?  
  
  
  
54. Snape: Oh Sirius.  
  
55. Sirius (in response): Oh Sanpy!  
  
56. Sirius and Snape: ::They start smooching::  
  
  
  
57. Hermione: No, you're right, I was wrong.  
  
  
  
58. Snape: Albus, you just have to hire dear old Lupin back!  
  
  
  
59. Voldemort: Would you please! ::His snakish hands are choking Crabe(senior) and his face look more imitating than ever:: SHUT UP MALFOY!  
  
"Friends" is on! :: with enthusiasm in his cold high voice:: Oh look! This is the one were Rachel and Ross come back together in the beach house but then they break. (A/N: this is a real episode of my other obsetion "Friends" I just love that one, with Ross's bold girlfriend. ::notices ppl are staring at her:: anyway, ::coughs:: so it doesn't belong to me. and watch it, it's a great show! BUT IT'S GOING TO END SOON! WHWHAAHWHAHHWA!)  
  
  
  
60. Crookshanks: So you actually thought I won't return ha? You thought I'll just leave the fame world like that didn't you? Well, if you thought Scaberce was surprising. ::there's suddenly fog in the air, when it's gone.:: Yes it is I! Lockheart! Autograghs anyone?  
  
  
  
61. Ginny: I see you baby, shaking that ass! (some transe song, dunno the name)  
  
  
  
62. Harry: That's it! I've had it, I'm going to Slytherin!  
  
63. Ron (in response): Me too! I've had it with you mudbloods!  
  
  
  
64. Filch: (Holding Fluffy in a chain) Screw Mrs. Noriss! I'm a dog person now!  
  
  
  
65. Sanpe: Oh, forget about it! It was such a long time ago! You can't possibly still be mad about that, it happened like when we were kids or somethin'!  
  
  
  
67. Voldemort: Avadra Kadevra! *Harry and co. drop dead* ::in Stive Ercle voice:: Did I do that?  
  
  
  
68. Ron: AVADRA KADAVA! ::Victor Krum drops dead::  
  
69. Hermione: (in response to last one) Oh well. I never liked him anyway, come here Roni, you killer! Grrr.  
  
70.Harry (in response) "BLAWLALLALWLA!" (this is actually not what Harry would never do/say but exactly what he would do if he saw Hermione and Ron smooching, for more examples hope in to my Blooper fics, and yes this is advertizment For it, coming soon!)  
  
  
  
71. Cho: I'm so evil! (Well, maybe she'll never admit it but THE TRUTH WILL COME OUT! Hold on all u C haters like myself!)  
  
  
  
A/N: Well, that's about it, sorry Britny fans, I can't help it.  
  
Thanks for everybody who reviewed! (I love ya all!) And sorry D/Hr and Hp/D (u freaks!), I know I'm being unfair, but hey! It's just my opinion, and why should u care what I think? And all u Cho fans. Well, no, I really got nothin' to say to ya'll, ::evil grin::  
  
And now, the ones who haven't reviewed, tell me, can u take a hint? See the review box bellow? *hint-hint*  
  
Tincerbel 


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